So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
