he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
