Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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