Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize