Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
