I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
