i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
