Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize