I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
