I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
