Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
