i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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