just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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