that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
