If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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