a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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