And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
