using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
