Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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