none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize