how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
