I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
