I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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