so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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