thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
