We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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