it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
