So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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