I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
