Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
