some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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