Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
