marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
