omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
