12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
