YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
