oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
