glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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