its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
