If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
