Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
