I just cut my nipple shaving
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
