There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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