bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
