I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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