He passed out mid-signature
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
did i walk over a car last night?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
