as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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