my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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