I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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