My nipple is on Facebook.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
