So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
