Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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