yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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