I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
