If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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