I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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