my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the day after is always just damage control
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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