when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
