Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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