ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
