Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Randomize
