Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You are the jesus of drinking
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
