Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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